“Tomorrow is music class and I haven’t practice piano with Ann!”

It’s the end of a day and you returned from your workplace tired. You had your dinner and was looking forward to just lazing around and playing Candy Crush on your iphone.

Then, you remembered Ann’s music class tomorrow!

With all the energy you could muster, you drag your feet and drag Ann to the bench of the piano. She is protesting loudly that she wants to do something else instead of playing piano.

You proceed to work with her, but Ann is uncooperative. She hunches and sulks, her fingers slapping on the piano keys as she unwillingly plays the music notes you ask her to. 

You feel yourself getting heated up. You raise the tone of your voice. Ann talks back. You shout, she shouts back. You threaten, she plays the piano as she won’t get to play her iPad if she doesn’t cooperate.

Consequences you may experience:

1. You feel drained
2. You think your kid doesn’t enjoy playing the piano
3. You feel guilty from shouting at your kid
4. You feel righteous that your kid must learn to be disciplined following the ‘spare the rod, spoil the kid’ mantra

Here’s what the kid feels:

1. Feels drained
2. Believes that she doesn’t enjoy playing the piano
3. Feels unhappy and angry from being shouted at
4. Feels frustrated and trapped

Down the line, the kid and the parent quits music learning, believing that music talent is not for them.

I’ve gone through the frustration of having a kid at home who doesn’t want to practice piano. 

My belief is this: every child and adult has music talent in them. If you can feel something when you hear a piece of music, then music speaks to the inner depths of your soul. You have music talent that has not been nurtured!

 

Take a revolutionary approach when dealing with your child.

1. You deserve rest after a long day of work – and you really do! So try this – ignore completing the weekly music homework in such a short span of time. After all, the homework was meant to be completed over 7 days – not 1 day!

2. So what if the homework is not completed? It’s not the end of the world. Just make a different choice for the next week of homework

3. Moving forward, practice 2 days in a week, instead of 1 day before the lesson! Once the habit of practicing 2 days a week is entrenched, move forward and practice 3 days in a week.

4. Maximum Time suggestions of practice based on the child’s attention span:
   • 3 years old – 6 minutes
   • 4 years old – 8 minutes
   • 5 years old – 10 minutes

5. If you wanna prolong the attention span of a 3 years old kid, try this:
   • Practice for 3 minutes
   • Let the child do something – a “music nap” (e.g., do some coloring) for 3-5 minutes
   • Have the child practice piano for another 3 minutes

6. Sometimes, I prefer to throw out the concept of time as the basis of practice. Instead of practicing based on time, practice based on the number of times the child plays the tune:
   • 3 years old – 1 time
   • 4 years old – 3 times
   • 5 years old – 5 times

 

I have a kid at home whom I supervise the home practice. She’s my 5 year old niece, feisty and has a mind of her own. So I understand how tough it is for a parent to come home from work and having to work on the home practice with a child that doesn’t want to practice.

 

I lost my patience once with my niece, and she was tearing at the harsh sound of my voice and impatient body language. I vowed never to let that happen and was determined to find ways to reach out to my niece during home practice. After all, she’s only 5 years old once – and I want to create the best memories she can have with me!

Here’s what I did, among a variety of things I discovered that were useful!

 

Me: Let’s climb up the stairs to your castle!

That’s to have the child get on the piano bench

Me: Just play this section here. It’s a lot more challenging and complicating for you, so let’s just work on it so that it becomes easy for you

She plays the 8 bars section once and starts to fidget. I let her fidget, held my tongue, then spoke up again

Me: Ok, let’s do it one more time

She plays it the second time and couldn’t quite control her fingers. She fidgets again.

Me: It is difficult, isn’t it? Don’t worry. I’m here to help you make it easy. Let’s try it again but just do this tough section first

I focus on the challenging spot that requires some finger gymnastics – it is at most a two bar section.

Me: You did it!

And I smile with appreciation. She fidgets a lot now. She’s been practicing the 2 bar section 3 times.

 Me: Let’s go find some castle friends to join you here. You can climb down from your castle and bring Beep to your castle!

This is a “Music Nap” – useful to give the child’s mind a break, and also for me!

She runs with glee to her play area and brings Beep the duck, Twilight Sparkle the pony and a Giraffe figurine. It took a good 3 minutes or more for her to bring her toys to her castle.

Meanwhile, I did some yoga stretching while waiting for her to bring her toys to the piano area!

Me: Shall we play music for your friends? Now that you can handle the tough spot, let’s start from the beginning! 

She plays the 8 bars section once. I applaud because she played it from bar 1 to 8, albeit slowly and pauses, but she completed the journey.

 Me: You did it! Now, all you have to do is to play this many times so that it gets easier for your fingers to move!

Take out a dice and ask the child to roll the dice. The number indicated is the number of times the section needs to be played – another 1 minute of music nap for the child.

 

All in all, I spent about a good 20 minutes with my niece, both of us enjoying the process, and both of us appreciating each other’s company – and still achieving the results of practicing a piece accurately!

I noticed over the next few weeks, the child’s practice session with me changes – kind of like an upgrade of practise session. She was willing to repeat a section, she was focused and she was quite happy when I tell her it’s time to practice piano!