What do you do when your young student has stage fright and does not want to perform on stage? It is his turn and he refuses to budge from where he was sitting.

It happens. And here’s what to do when it does:

1. Let him be
   • Forcing him to the stage is just making the situation worse. He might just burst into tears!
   • Understand and accept that he is fearful of being in the limelight.
   • Be gentle – your tone is important here
2. Have him observe
   • Since he is refusing to participate in the concert, let him watch what the other kids are doing
   • Be sure to create an appreciative and fun environment for each kid that went out on stage to perform – the introvert kid is watching your every move!
3. Encourage him
   • From time to time, over the course of the concert, ask him “Would you like to have a turn now?”
   • Accept whatever answer he gives
   • If he says ‘No’, you can reply “Ok, I’ll leave a space for you, just in case you want to have your turn”
4. Reward him
   • I usually hand out rewards to every child that went on stage to perform. For the introvert kid that refuses to be on stage, I have several options:
     • Give the reward to his parent and say to the kid, “I know you have been practicing hard for this concert. I’ll pass your reward to your Daddy. You go home and perform for your Daddy and you will receive your reward.”
     • Give the reward to him and say, “I am giving you this special reward for coming to the concert today. You were brave to come to the concert.”
5. Do it again
   • Organize the concert and have him perform again
   • If he chooses not to perform again, you can do the 4-steps approach that I outlined above
   • However, the reward to him should take a different slant. There should always be a learning point for the child. I would say to him, “I will give you your reward if you can walk up to the piano with your Daddy. You don’t need to play. Just walk up to the piano!”
   • Other options as learning points:
     • Walk up to the piano and bow
     • Sit on the piano bench
     • Perform after everyone has left the room!

I once had a 4 year old kid who refused to perform for 3 consecutive concerts. He attended each concert, all dressed up with his little bow tie but refused to come up to the piano for his performance. On the 3^rd concert, I noticed he was willing to sit on the bench, but refused to put his hands on the piano. I got the audience to clap crazily for the boy and praised him for being brave.

On the 4^th concert, he did the same thing – he walked to the piano and sat on the bench. I was feeling excited, anticipating that this moment was going to be his breakthrough – he was finally going to perform and overcome his fear.

He refused to play.

I was so intent on him to grow and learn from every single concert he participated. Suddenly, a thought came into my mind.

I said to him, “I am going to ask everyone in the room to close their eyes. No one is going to be looking at you when you play the piano. Ok?”

To my surprise, he broke into a smile and nodded. The audience of adults and kids covered their eyes with their hands and the boy performed his piece!!!

Funnily enough, while performing, he kept turning to the audience to check that the audience was indeed covering their eyes. He had such a big smile on his face! So did I!

The clapping he received was deafening and he walked away from the concert, feeling joyful and believing in himself.

He is now 11 years old and is no longer requiring the audience to cover their eyes when he is performing his Scarlatti!

Be clear on what you want to achieve with the child. In this case, I was clear that I wanted the child to be brave. Set your intention and let the solution presents itself! Be prepared to do things out of YOUR own comfort zone!